A woman I know who many years ago chose to abort her child, has lived with regret ever since.
She told me that at the time, she made the decision to rid herself of the unwanted pregnancy because it was… well, unwanted. She already had a houseful of children and did not want to abide another.
So she did what many women did once abortion became legally available — she ended her child’s life and went on with her own.
We talked about Kermit Gosnell, on trial for murdering seven babies. Of course, the Philadelphia abortionist murdered hundreds of babies who survived his abortions. The jury is currently deliberating and a decision on 258 charges against the abortion doctor should be decided relatively soon.
She shared her personal story with me as she handed me something she has carried in her purse for a long time. It was obvious the small square of paper had been folded and unfolded many times.
Her story reminded me of an episode I watched last Sunday night on “Call the Midwife”, a British series about young nurse midwives set in post-war England. First, a little bit about the series.
Written by Heidi Thomas and based on the best-selling memoirs of the late Jennifer Worth, “Call the Midwife” is produced by BBC One. Now in its second season, the successful drama centers around the Nonnatus House, a neo-natal clinic set in early 1950s East End London, and its midwives and nursing nuns. “Call the Midwife” airs Sunday evenings on most PBS stations.
Last week’s episode was about the lack of contraception and unwanted pregnancies. And abortion. Nurse Jenny meets Nora, an impoverished mother of eight, who is distraught that she may soon have another mouth to feed. When Nora learns she’s pregnant with her ninth child, she tries to miscarry by visiting an abortionist who gives her something to take to help her expel the baby growing in her womb.
When it doesn’t work and now 16-weeks along, the despairing Nora tells her barely-employed but sympathetic husband that she’s at the end of her rope caring for the eight little ones they already have, so it’s come down to two choices: either the pregnancy ends, or it will be the end of her.
Nurse Jenny’s attempts to reassure the overwhelmed mother that it will all work out fall on deaf ears, a desperate Nora takes matters into her own hands and revisits the town’s abortionist to disastrous results.
Back to the present and real life.
My friend handed me two worn pieces of paper, folded into small squares that she kept in her wallet. She explained they were a poem and a letter she wrote in 1989, several years after she aborted her baby. She has asked God for forgiveness, and over the years has learned to forgive herself, but there isn’t a day that passes when she doesn’t grieve of the child that was not allowed to come into this world and be part of her world.
I asked her if I could share them with you. She answered, “Please do. Maybe they’ll be a blessing to someone.”
So first, here’s her letter to the child that was never born:
The Heart of a Mother
I have the heart of a mother that cries and aches and mourns for the child I did not carry and did not allow to be born.
The little life that I took that day out of my own selfish need is now a painful memory of what that seed could be.
The love that I have for you of my unborn child and the prayer that’s in my heart is that in Heaven we will be together and never will we part.
I’m sorry little boy or girl whose life I took away, but God is a God of Miracles and will restore you to me one day.
Of course, in Heaven only will this great event take place, when for the first time I shall hold you and kiss the tears from your sweet face.
So for now I will just wait and pray that you’ll forgive me too, as God has done so mercifully… and now there’s He and YOU.
Enjoy Heaven, my little one, and know I love you so. And in His presence and with His love, you are allowed to grow.
I love you little baby,
The Greatest Gift
Gifts of Love and Gifts of Joy are the births of little girls and boys
To behold in wonder these gifts from above, such beauty and innocence these gifts of love.
So perfect and tiny the little child and they are small for just a short while.
How fast they’ll grow before your eyes, and the time with your babies how quickly it flies.
So hold them close while you may, teach them of the Lord and how to pray
Of God’s Word instill in their hearts, and when they are old they will not depart.
Show them the Way, the Truth, and the Life found only through our Lord Jesus Christ, the Son of God, the Precious Lamb, teach them to hold on to that nail scarred hand.
The peace of the Father will see them through. Honor His gifts, he gave them to you.
They are only on loan, these gifts from above, so cherish this time with your Gifts of Love.
While writing this post, my phone rang. It was one of those “divine moments” – a call from Concerned Women of America, asking if I would donate to help in the fight against Planned Parenthood’s influence on Capitol Hill. I will gladly give what I can, with a cheerful heart. But it got me thinking… why do we have to fight to convince our representatives on Capitol Hill that killing babies in the womb is a sin against life itself? What if THEIR mothers had felt the way my friend did, considered them an inconvenience, and aborted them in the womb?